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HOTY Hiatus: Hate Amongst Yourselves May 19, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating, Music, New York, Sports.
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Just as readership hits an all-time high, I will be headed to a place that I hate to love: Las Vegas. A week in 120 degree desert heat should do me some good and I promise not to lose my edge. I assure you that the time spent with overall-wearing white trash pounding Fosters at 10am will keep my hater-levels high. As much as I hate to leave you alone, I think all the fabulous dining, boozing and gambling will make up for it.

In the meantime: check out my blogroll and hit these links!

The Da Vinci Code: A hateable book becomes a hateable movie. A.O. Scott pulls no punches, and lets his hater shine through in this review for the Times.

The NBA Playoffs: Best. Playoffs. Ever. It's hard to link to one specific article when all of the matchups have been amazing. Let's hear it for The Clips and The Cavs, who have been instrumental in making this shit so much fun to watch. Bonus third link: Bill Simmons, a man far more articulate than me, discusses why this year is so special.

Britney's Baby Boondoggle: Sorry for the NY Post-like aliteration, but this is unreal! The baby's fallen out of a high-chair, had his head whipped back "violently," and been in two precarious situations involving automobiles. I'd say there's a zero chance this kid doesn't end up retarded, but with Brit and K-Fed as his parents, he didn't have much of a chance anyway.

Back in a week bitches!

XOXO,

HOTY

Tom Cruise Saved My Monday May 15, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating, New York.
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I hate Mondays. I woke up this morning with a heart heavy with hate and a stomach raw from too many cocktails. The torrential downpour did not help matters. Neither did the fact that I left my umbrella at work and therefore had to schlep through the rain before and after my very humid F-train commute. I arrived to work extremely late and began my usual routine of pounding coffee and blogroll reading when I stumbled upon this Youtube video at Riff Market.  I feel limited by the English language in trying to properly convey just how hilarious this is. There are no words. Enjoy. 

Hater of the Week*: Raja Bell May 11, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating, Sports.
3 comments

I hate The Lakers. Fuck Smoosh. Fuck Phil Jackson. Fuck Kwame Brown. (Lamar Odom, you're cool) And fuck Kobe. This goes out to all of you who sent me that Youtube of Kobe Bryant dunking on Steve Nash. It broke my heart to see poor little Stevie get facialized like that. So much so, I refuse to provide a link for that video. Instead, let us turn our thoughts to happier times, like this clip of Raja Bell clotheslining the shit out of The Mamba:

*So maybe this happened last week, but I just figured out how to embed a youtube video.

I Hate David Blaine May 9, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating, New York.
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I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. After spending 180 hours submerged in water, he attempted to free himself from 150 pounds of shackles, also under water. He blacked out and had to be rescued. After that, he tried to break the record for holding his breath under water, a lengthy 9 minutes. Unfortunately for Blaine, he failed that also.

Maybe I'm confused, but how is this interesting? I think anytime anyone attempts any of these death-defying stunts, they are only watched because some sick haterish part of the audience actually wants to see them die. When they are successful, everyone sighs in guilty relief, but really I think everyone's disappointed. In the case of David Blaine, not only did he fail his stunts, but he failed to die after failing his stunts- a double failure if you ask me.

NY Post Coverage

NY Times Coverage

Tuesday Link-stravaganza* May 2, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Blogs, Celebs, Food, General Hating, Music, New York, Sports.
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LA Clippers win their first playoff series in my lifetime. I am, along with thousands of other fans, eagerly awaiting Sports Guy's 10,000+ word, Gladwell-esque exegesis on the topic.

Life immitates art for the cast of the Sopranos: Artie Bucco gets busted for a Brooklyn slalom, and "Muscles Marinara" for stealing TVs, crappy guido shirts and beating store managers.

Cracked Magazine, which I truthfully didn't realize still existed, has a hilarious piece on Sportcenter's Most Cliched Catchphrases. My vote goes to Craig Kilborn for this gem: I got 99 problems, but that pitch ain't one. (via Deadspin)

Avery Cardoza's Player Magazine gets some Assimilated Negro treatment in The Devil's Publicist. I was always a fan of his "relationship stock market" theory and this quote cracks me up:

Of course everyone wants diversity in their portfolio, but some people do stay focused in one sector. I have a friend who swears by the Big Titties industry. All his money is always tied up in Big Titties.

*aka, I am too hungover and lazy to post an actual post, so here's what I'm reading this morning.

2 People I’d Like to Hate… April 24, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating.
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Dov Charney: Founder of American Apparel.

Seriously. Say what you will about the dude, but I find it almost impossible to hate him. He's 37 years old, the founder of an amazingly ubiquitous brand, and doing exactly what he wants to. All of his critics narrowly focus on his pervy-ness, and ignore all the other shit that he's doing. On the flip side, the average Charney proponent tends to ride the sweatshop-free angle a little too hard. Both sides of the spectrum ignored, he has turned American Apparel into nearly a billion dolllar business without compromising any of the ideas or principles on which it was founded.

And You Thought Abercrombie & Fitch Was Pushing It? (NY Times Magazine)

Nick Sylvester: Writer.

Nick is the guy who was recently fired from The Village Voice for fudging many facts in an otherwise entertaining piece about Neil Strauss' "The Game." I certainly don't condone that type of shit and I also didn't really dig many of his Pitchfork reviews (more indicative of my distaste for PF than it is of his writing). Between the scandal, the PF connection and that horrible photo of him in the glasses, he seemed ripe for hatin'. My feelings changed recently when I stumbled across this post – a hilarious fake interview between Game (of 50 Cent beef fame) and Nick, which humorously tells his version of the Village Voice incident. Since then, I've been reading Riff Market daily.

I Hate Frankenipple… April 21, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating.
3 comments

Uh oh. Tara Reid let her mongo-nip slip again. Can you hear that? It's the sound of gallons of blood rushing out of penises everywhere.

(via Gawker)

I Hate Josh Hartnett… April 19, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating, Scarjo.
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Have you seen these pictures of Scarlett Johansson with Josh Hartnett in Jamaica? I mean, have you seen them?

To simply say "I Love Scarjo" would be a gigantic understatement. I nearly had to excuse myself from the theater midway through Match Point and I think I may have shed a tear during her rendition of "Brass in Pocket" in Lost in Translation. She is an angel, sent from heaven. She was created in a laboratory by scientists who enjoy torturing me. Well, you know what Mr. Evil Scientists? It worked. OK? Because my life is officially horrible.

(via http://www.wwtdd.com)