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Horse/Unicorn Beastiality Links. April 28, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Animals, General Hating.
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Please note that I wrote "links" instead of "link." That's because I have not one, but TWO links for you that contain references to are entirely about boning horses/unicorns. My suggestion is that you watch the Unicorn video prior to reading this news story for maximum effect.

The police investigation began about two months ago after the owners of the barn reported finding sexual paraphernalia in a horse stall, according to Ambeau. The chief says that’s when the owner put up two cameras and captured images of a slender man walking between two stables.

A few things to consider:

It seems as though the guy wasn't just fucking the horse, but "engaging in sexual activities" with it. "Sexual paraphernalia?" Umm… what?! Is he role playing with the horse? Playing dress up? Using toys!??! Unreal.

If you suspected that someone was fucking/dildoing one of your horses, would you install cameras? How about hiding near the horse with a gun and when you see the dude, springing up and saying "Can you please stop fucking my horse!" Or maybe you just put up a sign.

Oh, to be a fly on wall during that interrogation.
Cop: Son, we know you dildoed that horse.
Horse Dildoer: No I didn't
Cop: Yes you did
Horse Dildoer: No I didn't
Cop: Hey ron, could you press play on the VCR please?
Horse Dildoer: …

I mean… Can we get this adapted for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Percent chance this is already in the works? I think as punishment they should lock this dude up with the a few of the hater chimps.

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When Animals Hate! April 26, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Animals, General Hating.
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File this in the Holy Fucking Shit Department. Apparently, there's a Texan-hating "killer chimp" on the loose! The dude says that the chimp "ripped his face off," and the headline says that it "burst through window, bit off hand." Pretty fucking haterish, either way.
Update: As I was searching for a way to link to CNN.com's stupid video player (the video is on the main CNN page), I searched for "killer chimp" and came up with this story from two days ago. The best part is that the story references another attack in California where the chimps mutilated genitals!

Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four other chimps had returned on their own accord to the reserve.

So a few of these chimps just meandered back to the scene of the crime?! Amazing. Is it too late to make the chimp the official Hater of the Year Mascot?