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Brrrr… April 28, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Blogs, General Hating, New York.
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Is it cold in here?


Hmm… It must be the douche-chills I just got from looking at this picture.

(via Gawker: Blue States Lose)


Horse/Unicorn Beastiality Links. April 28, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Animals, General Hating.

Please note that I wrote "links" instead of "link." That's because I have not one, but TWO links for you that contain references to are entirely about boning horses/unicorns. My suggestion is that you watch the Unicorn video prior to reading this news story for maximum effect.

The police investigation began about two months ago after the owners of the barn reported finding sexual paraphernalia in a horse stall, according to Ambeau. The chief says that’s when the owner put up two cameras and captured images of a slender man walking between two stables.

A few things to consider:

It seems as though the guy wasn't just fucking the horse, but "engaging in sexual activities" with it. "Sexual paraphernalia?" Umm… what?! Is he role playing with the horse? Playing dress up? Using toys!??! Unreal.

If you suspected that someone was fucking/dildoing one of your horses, would you install cameras? How about hiding near the horse with a gun and when you see the dude, springing up and saying "Can you please stop fucking my horse!" Or maybe you just put up a sign.

Oh, to be a fly on wall during that interrogation.
Cop: Son, we know you dildoed that horse.
Horse Dildoer: No I didn't
Cop: Yes you did
Horse Dildoer: No I didn't
Cop: Hey ron, could you press play on the VCR please?
Horse Dildoer: …

I mean… Can we get this adapted for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Percent chance this is already in the works? I think as punishment they should lock this dude up with the a few of the hater chimps.

Hater Trendwatch: Handjobs. April 27, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in General Hating, New York.
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I have been preaching the wonders of the handjob for YEARS. Appropriately, I've found this picture on the great forum of hate known as Vice DOs and DON'Ts. Thanks to Vice, hopefully, the handjob will become a hipster staple, along with ironic haircuts, custom t-shirts and PBR. 

When Animals Hate! April 26, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Animals, General Hating.
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File this in the Holy Fucking Shit Department. Apparently, there's a Texan-hating "killer chimp" on the loose! The dude says that the chimp "ripped his face off," and the headline says that it "burst through window, bit off hand." Pretty fucking haterish, either way.
Update: As I was searching for a way to link to CNN.com's stupid video player (the video is on the main CNN page), I searched for "killer chimp" and came up with this story from two days ago. The best part is that the story references another attack in California where the chimps mutilated genitals!

Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four other chimps had returned on their own accord to the reserve.

So a few of these chimps just meandered back to the scene of the crime?! Amazing. Is it too late to make the chimp the official Hater of the Year Mascot?

How Hateable Are You? April 24, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in General Hating.

If you are a frequent visitor to this site, you may find yourself wondering: What about me HOTY, am I hateable? While the answer is almost certainly yes, I've developed a quiz of sorts to help you determine just how hateable you are. Let's call this your H.Q., or Hateability Quotient.

Without further ado, The Official Hater of the Year Hateability Test (more…)

2 People I’d Like to Hate… April 24, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating.
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Dov Charney: Founder of American Apparel.

Seriously. Say what you will about the dude, but I find it almost impossible to hate him. He's 37 years old, the founder of an amazingly ubiquitous brand, and doing exactly what he wants to. All of his critics narrowly focus on his pervy-ness, and ignore all the other shit that he's doing. On the flip side, the average Charney proponent tends to ride the sweatshop-free angle a little too hard. Both sides of the spectrum ignored, he has turned American Apparel into nearly a billion dolllar business without compromising any of the ideas or principles on which it was founded.

And You Thought Abercrombie & Fitch Was Pushing It? (NY Times Magazine)

Nick Sylvester: Writer.

Nick is the guy who was recently fired from The Village Voice for fudging many facts in an otherwise entertaining piece about Neil Strauss' "The Game." I certainly don't condone that type of shit and I also didn't really dig many of his Pitchfork reviews (more indicative of my distaste for PF than it is of his writing). Between the scandal, the PF connection and that horrible photo of him in the glasses, he seemed ripe for hatin'. My feelings changed recently when I stumbled across this post – a hilarious fake interview between Game (of 50 Cent beef fame) and Nick, which humorously tells his version of the Village Voice incident. Since then, I've been reading Riff Market daily.

Hate Break: HOTY 4/2006 Playlist… April 22, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Blogs, Music.
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When I first got an iPod in 2001, I began making monthly playlists as a way to force new music into my listening rotation. Along the way, I decided to keep the mixes to about 80 minutes so that I could burn a copy for anyone who enjoyed them. Inspired by a recent visit to sound.as.language (a great read), here is my April 2006 playlist: (more…)

I Hate Frankenipple… April 21, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Celebs, General Hating.

Uh oh. Tara Reid let her mongo-nip slip again. Can you hear that? It's the sound of gallons of blood rushing out of penises everywhere.

(via Gawker)

I Hate Douchebags (and their douchey families)… April 21, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in General Hating, New York.

Perhaps some of you caught the article in the NY Times yesterday called "The Bank of Mom and Dad." The article documents the trend of parents who continue to financially support their children after graduation. This did not come to me as a revelation, obviously, but what was surprising is just how obnoxious and utterly hateable these people are.

Take Jason McGuinness, the 23 year-old Syracuse cheerleader graduate who makes $30,000 and pays $1,100 per month in rent on the Upper East Side. Jason munches on peanut butter sandwiches and catches Mets games with his buddies (how cute is he?). He also gets a monthly stipend of $300 from his family which helps him "maintain a middle-class way of life." Is there anyone else who finds this to be completely ridiculous? If that $300 is so precious and vital to McGuinness' lifestyle, why not find an apartment that only costs $800 a month? Ever heard of Brooklyn? Furthermore, have you ever thought of adjusting your lifestyle to match your income? What happens when he gets that first raise of 10%? His mom has already inflated his income 12%, so the raise isn't going to feel like much – is she going to match it? Idiot Mom quote #1:"Everybody I know is supporting their children in some way." How about giving your son some advice about how to live within his means, instead of fucking up his sense of cost and value.

And don't even get me started on Daisy Press, the 27 year-old singer who lacks "the emotional experience of knowing what I cost and earning what I spend. I can only imagine what it may feel like." I mean… is she serious? How about getting a job? At this exact moment, there are 6 servers at Ellen's Stardust Diner who are handing out crappy club sandwiches and belting out showtunes. Perhaps, though, the problem lies in the values of Daisy's mother – Idiot Mom quote #2: "What if she had to stop and spend her days at Starbucks?"

That's easy. If she spent her days at Starbucks, she'd have a sense of her value and the luxury of knowing exactly what she costs.

I Hate Link-only Posts… April 20, 2006

Posted by hateroftheyear in Food, New York, Poker, Sneakers, Sports.
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Bill Simmons interviews the guys who wrote Rounders – Part I (link is down) & Part II.

Mark Bittman prepares HOTY favorite stuffed artichokes (NYTimes free reg. required).

Fuck Isaiah and Fuck Larry Brown. Who else is rooting for Ron-Ron and the Kings?

GNR to play some shows in NYC. Who's coming with me?

It's spring, bitches. Brave the hate and go to Alife Rivington Club this weekend for their big spring sale. Cash only. Afterwards, hit the town with your new kicks and watch as the ass just rolls in.