NYC Weather: Seriously Haterish Shit

Weather, as an idea, fucking sucks. Give me 85 degrees and sunny during the day with 50 degree nights and I promise never to complain again. On a Saturday morning, when I'm hungover it can be dark and rainy and cold. Later on, when I wake up, all of the shit better be dry and the sun should be out and shining.

As far as snow goes, I would allow it to occur three to four times per year. Once on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Day, and several "key" moments throughout the course of the year- like, for example, when I'm walking Scarlett Johansson home from a date. When we step out of the restaurant it should be snowing. She'll say "Do you have any baby oil?" "Isn't it beautiful?" and we'll embrace passionately…

Seriously though, could you imagine how crowded New York City would be if it had Miami's weather? Or maybe it would be just like Miami. What's noteable, lately, is just how demoralizing this fucking weather is. Every day, it seems, for the last 3 weeks there has been one torrential downpour after another. What's worse is that the forecast, unfortunately, only calls for more shitty weather. What's a hater to do?

My advice? Camp in front of your tube and watch some World Cup or NBA Finals.